I’m getting married tomorrow! 
Archive for September, 2008
I wish I could say that I was shocked to learn that the office of publisher Gibson Square was firebombed over the weekend, but sadly it was no shock at all. We’re back to the days of the Danish cartoons, when the message of the Islamists boiled down to: “Islam is not a violent religion, we will kill you if you say it is”.
Thankfully nobody was hurt in the firebombing, but it won’t be long before the appeasers start saying we should run and hide from these brutal tyrants. When Islamists murdered Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh for daring to highlight violence against women in Islamic societies, there were those on the liberal-left who whispered that he had it coming to him. Mind-boggling.
Closing thought: in the last 1,000 years, the number of books translated into Arabic is equal to the number that are translated into Spanish in a single year. Go figure.
You might like to visit my friend and fellow author Sam Jordison’s blog, and not just because he has written fondly on it of my book Help! I’m Turning Into My Dad! Incidentally, that very book has today gone for its first reprint, a mere 25 days after publication. How joyful. I had fun promoting it on BBC Radio London yesterday. Paul Ross kept calling me “Chris”, so I called him “Jonathan”. He got my name right after that.
Another blog post I have enjoyed recently – and one that has nothing to do with me or my books – is this one by the great Melanie Phillips. Although Melanie and I would probably find plenty to disagree on, she is always 100 per cent spot-on on issues such as Israel, Islamism, terror and national security. Given that those sorts of issues dwarf any others in importance, I count myself as a Melanie fan. Long may she blog.
I’m beginning to wonder whether Amy Winehouse’s father is more interested in fame than he is in his daughter. Rarely does a week go by without Mitch Winehouse popping up somewhere in the media: in-depth interviews on Sky News, guest presenter slots on BBC radio, and countless exclusive interviews with the tabloids and magazines. As I explain in my biography of Amy, taxi driver Mitch – whose mother dated Ronnie Scott – is an amateur singer who as a young man dreamt of fame himself. Well, over the last year he has certainly begun to taste it, and now there are reports that he is trying to break into acting on the big screen.
As well as his love of the limelight, could it also be a nagging guilt that is driving Mitch to behave this way? In her smash hit song Rehab, Amy sings: “My Daddy thinks I’m fine” to explain why she didn’t check into rehab in 2006. Since then her life has spiraled into overdoses, punch-ups, arrests and dramatic late-night hospital visits. Far from immediately admitting his colossal misjudgement, Mitch backed it up, saying: “Her previous management company said she should go to rehab but she didn’t think she needed to, and I agreed.” Rehab isn’t the only time Amy has sung about her Dad. She says that her song about rubbish guys called What Is It About Men is about “all the shit” her unfaithful father put her mother through.
Mitch is fast becoming as familiar name as his daughter and in itself this is harmless enough. But he seems entirely unaware of the walloping great contradiction between his complaints about press intrusion, and his tireless quest for more media spots to make headline-grabbing announcements and continue his very public squabbling with Blake Fielder-Civil’s parents.
More importantly, while he chases fame, his daughter staggers from disaster to disaster, seeming to all the world a woman without anyone looking after her.
The aforementioned Windsor Festival event How I Got My Book Published went really well. There was a good turnout and everyone seemed very happy with how it went. Lots of audience members were taking notes, which was a good sign. I sold and signed plenty of copies of my books afterwards – always nice! The local newspaper has written a brief review of the event here.
In other news, Waterstones in Windsor has put up a special ‘local author’ shelf with my recommendations on it. Amazingly, I didn’t recommend a single Amis book, nor any of my own! Instead, I chose: The Case For Israel by Alan Dershowitz, A Man In Full by Tom Wolfe, Sweet by Julie Burchill and It’s Not About The Bike by Lance Armstrong.
Finally, The Australian newspaper has published an article off the back of Not In My Name.
I see that the great Alastair Campbell has written a novel about mental health. I wouldn’t normally read a novel on such a theme, but I’m a bit of a fan of Campbell so I’ll have to read this one. If only to see if whether the testicular-obsession of The Blair Years – every third sentence seemed to be a gushing mention of a man who “has balls” – continues into his fiction.
Campbell made enemies across the media when he worked at Downing Street, so I doubt his novel will be warmly-received. He promises he won’t get in any spats with reviewers. I so hope he does, though. Campbell spats are always entertaining.
In other news, I’m speaking at the Windsor Festival today. The event is at the posh Guildhall, where Charles and Camilla got hitched. I’m not half as nervous as I expected to be.
My talented friend Sam Jordison has written another classic book for the humour market, entitled: Sod That! – 103 Things Not To Do Before You Die. Sam is the man behind the brilliant Crap Towns books, and the excellent Annus Horribilis.
His new book is typically Sam Jordison: it manages to make a very clever point and make you giggle all at once. A slacker’s bible, it is a beacon of sanity for everyone who is fed up of being told what to do with their time. My personal favourite entries are ‘Make Your Own Bread’ (I can’t stand the smug bores that do that, and never stop telling you how great they consequently are), ‘Wear A Kilt’ (Why?!) and ‘Go To The Glastonbury Festival’.
I’ve long been a fan of Sam as both a person and a writer. I also owe him my thanks, because he gave me my first break in publishing when he commissioned me to write for both the Crap Towns books. He’s not exactly ugly, either. But even if I hated him, even if he was hideous to behold, even if he had physically harmed members of my family*, I’d still have to say that Sod That is a must-read book.
There is an extract from Sod That here and you can jolly well buy the book here.
*He hasn’t.
Two years ago this month I made my first trip to Israel. The fighting with Hezbollah had only just ended, and I had the most wonderful time. The first part of my trip was spent at the Dead Sea, where an enjoyable marketing convention was taking place. (I pop up a few times on that video, including at Masada.) Then it was on to Tel Aviv and Jaffa for a few days.
I could go on for hours about what a wonderful, life-changing experience the trip was, but the articles I wrote upon my return probably say it best. The first was a short column for Jewish News called Meeting My Heroes, and the second was for Attitude magazine, called The Six Day Phwoar.
I returned to Israel the following year with Chris, and we had a great time in Jerusalem. It was in that city that Chris ‘popped the question’, which made it even more memorable. I cannot wait to be back there again. Today I have decided to really make an effort to learn Hebrew. I’m excited about this challenge.
I’ve done a guest post over at the excellent Harry’s Place blog today, about Not In My Name.
I loved today. First up came the news that my hero Lance Armstrong is returning to professional cycling. His story of beating cancer and becoming a sporting legend really inspires me and I am already excited about him competing at next year’s Tour de France. It’ll be good to have him back.
Then I appeared on Henry Kelly’s show on BBC Radio Berkshire, plugging Help! I’m Turning Into My Dad. I loved watching Henry on Going For Gold in my student days and he was really lovely in person, as was everyone in his team. He had me in stitches off-air and the interview worked really well. Then Chris and I had a beautiful lunch in Eton. We’re trying out venues for our forthcoming nuptials.
In the afternoon one of my long-held ambitions was finally fulfilled when I had a meeting at the mighty Random House publishers. The atmosphere of the place was just as I hoped it would be: a strikingly heady blend of creative editorial types and dynamic money men in suits. It was a good reminder of how much money can be made in publishing, which was a great shot in the arm to me. More importantly, the meeting itself went really well.
To top off a great day, Arena magazine has done a nice review of Not In My Name, concluding “at their entertaining best, they skewer the worst sort of leftist poseurs”. Too right!
I am still loving the X Factor. So far this is the best series of the lot and I think a lot of the credit for this goes to the majestic Cheryl Cole. I enjoyed the cameo from Cheryl’s dog Buster in last night’s show. I’d like to meet Buster one day. Heck, I’d quite like to be Buster.
The Australian Literary Review has done a lovely write-up of Not In My Name. It’s part of a lengthy article covering a number of books, including one by David Runciman. I’ve pulled out the relevant passage:
Less radical chic than radical cheek, such slogans make a mockery of political protest. This is the starting point for Not in My Name, a collection of enjoyable rants on hypocritical attitudes to everything from anal sex to Israel and Amy Winehouse. Though Julie Burchill and Chas Newkey-Burden are less sanguine about hypocrisy than Runciman, it tends to be second-order hypocrisy to which they object most fervently, and in this respect their arguments converge.
However, this philosophical convergence does not entrain a political convergence, which once again goes to underscore the problem of analysing contemporary hypocrisy. Put simply, the authors supported the war, while Runciman, I strongly suspect, did not. Here is Newkey-Burden in full flow:
“Iraq was a colossally huge and important issue and, clearly, the natural consequences of both sides of the argument came with a horrendous price to pay. Here’s the thing, though: I’ve never met a single pro-war person who failed to accept the consequences of their argument. Similarly, I’ve never met a single anti-war person who did accept the consequences of theirs.”
Not in My Name is not a serious book but it makes a serious point nonetheless and that is this: those who demand political sincerity are rarely aware of the depth and nature of their own political hypocrisy.
I’m not sure whether any of my many Australian relatives and friends read the magazine, but it’s great to get a review Down Under!
Meanwhile, promo for Help! I’m Turning Into My Dad! is starting up. I did a slot on TalkSport today and they had a great response from listeners, with people calling in for two hours sharing their own ‘turning into Dad’ moments.