Archive for January, 2010

The Windsor branch of Waterstones has put up a shelf of books chosen by me as a local author. I was asked to choose two of my own books and four by other authors.

Of my own titles I chose my Simon Cowell biography and Not In My Name. For the other four I selected The Old Devils by Kingsley Amis, Cheryl by Sean Smith, Israel: A History by Sir Martin Gilbert and The Diary Of A Young Girl by Anne Frank. I had a heavy cold when I made the latter four choices and they certainly constitute an eclectic line-up.

Still, an honour to be asked. I might pop in next week, take a photograph of the shelf and post it here.

Update: here is a photograph of the shelf.

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Interesting to see the Liberal Democrat peer Jenny Tonge on Question Time last night. Well done to the marvellous Douglas Murray for putting her in her place. Tonge has a long track record of antisemitic remarks and of expressing support for antisemitic terrorism. In 2004, an era when Hamas suicide bombers were blowing up schoolbuses, pizza parlours and a Passover seder attended by Holocaust survivors, she said of the bombers:  “If I had to live in that situation — and I say that advisedly — I might just consider becoming one myself.” Two years later she said: “The pro-Israeli lobby has got its grips on the Western world, its financial grips. I think they have probably got a certain grip on our party.”

The above remarks were made before Nick Clegg became Liberal Democrat leader in 2007. Since then Mr Clegg has promised that he would discipline Tonge if she repeated such behaviour “on my watch”. In 2008 Tonge ranted at the IslamExpo about “the Jewish lobby” and asked: “How can we stop antisemitism if they [Israel] keep treating the Palestinians like this?” Last year she met Hamas leader Khaled Meshaal and described him as “shrewd, plausible and actually very likeable”. She also had a meeting with Ramadan Shalah, head of Islamic Jihad.

So has Mr Clegg kept true to his ‘not on my watch’ promise? No. He refuses to deal with Tonge and erupted when questioned about this by the Jewish Chronicle’s Martin Bright. Clegg’s angry, defensive tone in that interview is familiar. Last year I saw him speak at an event organised by Jewish News. It was mostly a gentle, friendly evening but in the rare moments when Mr Clegg was properly grilled on his and his party’s shameful record on Israel, he was visibly uncomfortable and furious. Like many Liberal Democrats he wants to have it both ways: he wants to victimise and demonise Israel, but then pretend that he’s a friend of Israel too.

You can read a decent compilation of Clegg’s shameful record on Israel at the beginning and end of this CifWatch post by the wonderful Israelinurse. Most revealing is his cowardly U-turn on Jenny Tonge. He can raise his voice and (irrelevantly) remind us that he’s “married to a Spaniard” all he likes, but actions speak louder than words. If Nick Clegg doesn’t even have the balls or the will to deal with antisemitism and support for terrorism within his own party, why on earth should we believe he is in any way ready to be a leader of the country?

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What an inappropriate thing for MSNBC’s Chris Matthews to say of Obama’s State of the Union address. He made it worse by adding that Obama’s address was so ‘in tune with American life that you don’t think in terms of the old tribalism, the old ethnicity’. Tribalism? Matthews seemed to momentarily realise he was digging a hole, when he admitted that his angle is ’so hard to even talk about, maybe I shouldn’t even talk about it but I am’.

I wonder if fans of US comedy shows were, like me, reminded by this of someone else?

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Yad Vashem is Israel’s living memorial to the victims of the Holocaust. Many of my readers will have visited it. If you have I’m fairly sure you will agree that when you exit the harrowing main hall and see the beautiful hills of Jerusalem it is an experience that defies description.

I remember when I visited, as I reached some of the most harrowing parts of the hall I saw a young American orthodox boy burst into tears and ask his father: “But how could the world let this happen, Daddy?” His father merely hugged him. Well, what would you have said?

You can visit the Yad Vashem website here and their YouTube channel here.

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I did my BBC Radio London newspaper review slot this morning with the new Breakfast Show line-up of Gaby Roslin and Paul Ross. It was good fun as usual. So if you’re interested in hearing us discuss who makes Simon Cowell’s bed, a bloody row over a PlayStation football game, Alan Titchmarsh on climate change, Tiger Woods’ text-hell and a rather embarrassing video of me, then click here. I come in at 1hr46minutes in.

In other news I am currently putting the finishing touches to my biography of publishing sensation Stephenie Meyer and simultaneously working on a major update of my internationally-bestselling Amy Winehouse biography. Perhaps more pertinent news for here is that I am also working on an exciting project with the legendary ‘Israelinurse’, whose wonderful writing will be known to regular visitors of this and other blogs. This one will be a slow-burner production-wise, but I’m already confident the final work will be powerful stuff.

Have a great day.

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This contains some upsetting scenes, but is an ultimately uplifting short film.

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This is my latest column for Jewish News…

BBC executives at a corporation seminar were once asked to rule on a theoretical broadcasting dilemma. They were asked how they would react if a guest on BBC2’s Room 101 show nominated the following items to consign to the dustbin of history: some kosher food, the Archbishop of Canterbury, a Bible and the Koran. The response from the executives was that all the items would be allowed with the exception of the Koran, for fear of offending Muslims. This is ironic because their verdict is actually offensive to Muslims, suggesting as it does that Jews and Christians can take a joke but Muslims cannot.

Comedy is a funny world – and not always in the way it intends to be. I grew up as a wave of so-called ‘alternative comedians’ vowed to sweep away the old-school comics and truly shake up the establishment. Naturally, as their waistlines expanded their rebelliousness withered away. Many of them were soon parking their considerable behinds on the primetime television schedules and becoming fully paid-up members of the establishment. Fair enough. The only guaranteed way to avoid selling out is have something nobody wants to buy.

For the current comedy generation though the aim is often not to follow the ‘right-on’ humour of the 1980s, but rather to shock and offend. I’m not worried about offensive humour per se, but I’m sick of jokes about the Holocaust. It’s always wrong, all the more so given the younger generation’s regularly revealed ignorance of the issue (one in six British schoolchildren recently polled thought Auschwitz is a theme park). Jimmy Carr cracked an inappropriate joke about the Holocaust live on stage, prompting roars of laughter. But the memorable part was not the joke, nor the laughter itself but the round of applause that followed the laughter. It felt unsettling.

Not that Carr is alone in making such jokes. David Mitchell made one about Anne Frank, so too have Ricky Gervais and Russell Howard. Perhaps I’m a wimp but I don’t like it. And in my experience many of the comedians who like to push the boundaries of humour by making such quips prove less courageous when it comes to other sensitive areas, particularly extremist Islam. But then if you offend the Jewish community the worst that will happen to you is a few letters of complaint and perhaps a statement of condemnation from the Board Of Deputies. No bloodcurdling mobs, death threats or worse.

Not that I’m suggesting the latter response would be a good idea. But I do think that comedians should stop kidding themselves that they’re being brave by joking about the Holocaust or even Israel, when their comedic courage is so selective. The only comedian I can think of who will ‘go in studs-up’ consistently is Frankie Boyle. He’s made tasteless jokes at Israel’s expense but also at the expense of militant Islam and a range of other targets. You might think that being universally offensive is a bad thing, but at least he’s consistent and he’s actually very funny.

Which is more than you can say for the likes of Jeremy Hardy, with his egotistical film ‘Jeremy Hardy vs The Israeli Army’. Plenty of comedians make repeated quips at Israel, Bush, Blair and the war on terror but rarely speak about Hamas, the Taliban or Saddam Hussein. It’s easy to sneer at Blair in a London television studio, would any of them would be brave enough to stand on a street corner in Kandahar or Baghdad and poke fun at the extremists that our troops are bravely fighting?

If comics want to carry on slamming Israel and sniggering at Anne Frank then they can prove how taboo-breaking they are by fearlessly tackling some other sensitive areas like Islamic extremism. Until they’re willing to do that their jokes about the Holocaust and Israel will be doubly contemptible.

You can visit the Jewish News website here.

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There has been controversy about the line-up chosen by Gordon Brown to form the panel for the Chilcot inquiry. Some of this has been tinged with antisemitism, such as Richard Ingrams’ disappointment that the panel included ‘two Jewish historians’. (His complaint was no surprise: Ingrams believes that Jewish and indeed gay writers should declare their ethnicity or sexuality if they are writing about Israel or gay rights issues. How does he want this to work? A yellow star or pink triangle next to their byline?)

Anyway, George Galloway has now had his say on Chilcot. On his Comment show last night the whiskered-wonder asked: ‘Why wasn’t I put on the panel?’ Good question, George. I suppose those grovelling salutations to Saddam Hussein worked against you. The way you publicly handed money to Hamas probably didn’t help, you know how sensitive people can get about antisemitic terrorism. I doubt your cat impersonations helped much either. The whole business is complicated enough without them having to install flea powder and litter trays at the Conference Centre. Meow!

Shabbat shalom to all my Jewish readers – and a happy weekend to everyone.

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I’ve written before about some of the loons who leave comments on my blog. I never approve for publication any antisemitic or anti-Muslim comments.

One of the latest charmers to swing by went on a long rant about the Holocaust before suggesting that I visit my “thieving relatives in Israel” whereupon he hopes that Iran would “blow your hooked nose off”.

Someone needs to have a word and tell him what a goy is.

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I’ve only just realised that someone has made a really cool video about the BUYcott campaign based on the text of my recent post about it.

It’s great that word about the campaign is spreading and on a personal note I’m honoured to have my writing featured – and in such an opening-titles-of-Star-Wars style. Good stuff.

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Having watched Jane Corbin’s wilfully selective and misleading Panorama report A Walk In The Park, I was reminded of the fact that a former BBC Middle East correspondent once remarked at a dinner party: “Surely the Jews must have done something to provoke the Germans?”

What is it with these people?

Meanwhile, the remarkable response of Israel to the Haiti disaster should be acknowledged. Israel was one of the first countries on the scene last week and has sent many more troops than countless larger nations including Britain and France. A baby boy was delivered in an Israeli field hospital and the mother of the child has decided to name him Israel.

Tom Gross has compiled a useful round-up of Israel’s leading role in Haiti in his latest dispatch Israel’s Disproportionate Response. Don’t expect to hear much about all this on the BBC any time soon but please circulate the facts that Gross has compiled.

Most importantly, my thoughts and prayers go out to all effected by the Haiti earthquake.

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Around this time last year I first encountered Jonathan Hoffman when he gave an excellent speech on a demonstration outside the Iranian Embassy in London. As he delivered the speech he was passionate, charismatic and inspiring. Jonathan is co-vice-chair of the Zionist Federation but he is so much more than that.

Over the last twelve months I’ve marvelled at his commitment to the cause. I’ve witnessed first-hand his bravery and brilliance on numerous demonstrations, meetings and on a vile day at Press TV. But that’s just the start of the legendary contribution he makes on a daily basis. The list could go on and on (and on and on) but just take a look at this video (4mins, 48seconds in) and read this brilliant speech for a taster.

His courage and commitment cannot be doubted, but unlike some who display enormous commitment to their political cause, he remains a modest and selfless man whose admirable energy is fuelled only by the simplest of motivations: to defend Israel and fight antisemitism. As with any movement this is one not without cliques and elites. But Jonathan is a man of the people, who will recruit and inspire more each year than many others at the top.

Still, I can understand why some resent him. If I thought Israel must be vilified, I would object to his clear-headed corrections. If I thought Jews deserve to be bullied and libelled without rebuttal I would resent him. Likewise, if I was one of the many who talk a good talk about defending Israel but do precious little to actually help, his example would perplex me and would nag away at my conscience. Long may that continue.

And you know what? Maybe on occasion his passion bubbles a little too furiously over the surface. But I’m not even sure about that. Better too much passion than too little, as this is a difficult fight against bitter enemies, not a flower-arranging society. Jonathan is at the frontline of that fight week in week out, that he remains such a warm and charming man is all the more to his credit.

Oy Va Goy doesn’t do knighthoods, but if it did…

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If you are on Twitter then please follow this blog @OyVaGoy. You can keep up to date on the latest posts and selected links from elsewhere, as well as receiving random thoughts and occasional dog photographs.

Shabbat shalom to all my Jewish readers and a happy weekend to everyone. You might like to check this link about World Jewish Relief’s emergency appeal to assist those affected by the Haiti disaster.

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I have to admit that when I first heard of the plans to launch CiFWatch – a website which monitors antisemitism on The Guardian’s Comment Is Free (CiF) website – I was not immediately convinced there was a pressing need for such a project. I wondered whether the energies of the brilliant people behind CiFWatch – some of whom are friends of mine – might not be better directed against other targets.

I was very aware of the track record of some British broadsheets when it comes to reporting of Israel. As I wrote in 2007, newspapers like The Guardian frequently “print editorials that are so biased and distorted that Osama Bin Laden would probably blush at them and say: Steady on! We can’t print that!’” Given the combination of that atmosphere and the internet – the haven of anonymous bullies – I suppose the writing was on the wall for CiF.

The following year I was given further insight into the problem. I had an interesting exchange with one the CiF editors after they published an article written by a member of the terrorist organisation Hamas. I wrote in to express my surprise and I received a thunderous response from the CiF editor asking ‘And you are who to tell me this?’ and expressing how ’staggered’ he was that I might disagree with such an article being commissioned. Probably not half as staggered as the victims of Hamas suicide bombs and rocket attacks, I’d venture. CiF recommissioned the Hamas man in January 2009.

All the same, I initially had my doubts about the need for CiFWatch, which launched last year. However, the cesspit of anti-Israel and, yes, anti-Jewish hatred that is exposed there on a daily basis shows just how urgent that need is. Urgent is exactly the word, because as the Guardian’s own Michael White has agreed, explosive commentary about Israel does lead to antisemitic crime on the streets of England. Yet CiF bubbles over with just such commentary nearly every day. You can read a – rather upsetting – compilation of it here including instances of commentary seemingly influenced directly by neo-nazi forums, plentiful lies about Israeli policy and even Holocaust denial.

And yes, moderation of reader comments must be a tough job to get right. But any benefit of the doubt has surely gone after the case of William Bapthorpe, who openly called on CiF for the ’slaughter’ of Israeli settlers – ‘every last man woman and child’ and yet is allowed to continue posting on the site. What happened to The Guardian’s tradition of opposing the bullies and bigots of this world?

So I hold my hands up, I was wrong about CiFWatch – it is very much needed. I’d suggest to the increasingly-defensive CiF team that admitting you’ve got something wrong doesn’t hurt all that much. It can feel rather liberating actually, and it can lead to a better world.

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I am currently reading The Road by Cormac McCarthy and I’m planning to go and watch the big-screen adaptation of it next week. All this post-apocalyptic drama reminds me of the life-changing drama-documentary the BBC made in the 1980s called Threads, which depicted a nuclear attack on Britian through the experiences of ordinary Sheffield folk.

That description might make it sound like Coronation Street with a mushroom cloud. But it was a truly shocking film which terrified and politicised me in all manner of ways. I was 12 when I watched it. Some years later I looked back on it in an article for the men’s magazine Loaded. This is that article:

Great Moments In Fright Nuclear TV Drama – By Chas Newkey-Burden

Nuclear missiles were never feted for their subtlety or charm, but when I sat down as a 12-year-old lad to watch a film about them, I wasn’t expecting the visual and emotional onslaught I received. Threads was a life-changing moment for a generation of youngsters and the peak of a decade of nuclear paranoia.

The 1980s had begun with the government distributing a public information booklet called Protect And Survive. It instructed the great British populace in the fine art of building nuclear bomb shelters from an ingenious combination of books, doors, towels and Lego. All very Blue Peter. It also assured us: “When you hear the all-clear, this means there is no longer an immediate danger from air attack and you may resume normal activities.”

For those of us in any doubt at all about what exactly constituted ‘normal activities’ in the aftermath of a nuclear strike, Threads offered a graphic account. A comprehensive destruction of society, diseased survivors fighting over the right to eat dead, plutonium-rich sheep, casualties having limbs sawn off without anaesthetic in makeshift hospitals. Not forgetting, of course, the stillborn babies, burning cats, formation vomiting and those mutilated characters tilling a barren earth under a nuclear winter sky. This was truly horrific television, even more terrifying than Grange Hill bully Gripper or those uncompromising Don’t Play With Fireworks ads.

As if in sympathy with the radiation stricken cast, I literally threw up with fear while watching Threads. Although my generation was aware of truly catastrophic events, most were well in the past; whereas the events depicted here were in the future, at a date to be arranged – quite possibly next week. Make no mistake about it, as far as we were concerned during the 1980s, it was merely a case of ‘when’ not ‘if’ the bomb dropped. For months afterwards we walked around stiff with fear, every passing plane momentarily inspected before normal breathing rate could be resumed.

I had an ugly row with my family the day after Threads was broadcast. With the benefit of hindsight, perhaps it was reasonable for Dad to want to keep the door on his garage. And I suppose Mum really was too busy cooking the tea to drive up to the builders’ merchants and procure those sandbags. I guess I shouldn’t have been so disappointed that I didn’t finish building that nuclear bomb shelter. It was hardly the end of the world, was it?

You can watch Threads online here. But do you even want to after reading the above? Sicko…

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© Copyright Chas Newkey-Burden. All Rights Reserved. Thanks to Chris Morris.